Author Topic: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards  (Read 1281 times)

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Offline Breadman

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+15
Power Rankings Post Week 5

The Circle Jerk

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @pixels
FWD: @Compass
MID: @Lindros
GKer: @Dox

This team just keeps on rolling and winning games despite cutting myles. Dox is their starting GKer now and has played great so far. Look for Dox to make a late run at GKOTY. They also added long time veteran muffin to their roster which gives them some much needed depth. No holes can be found on this team.


Qatari Princes

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @HashBrowns
FWD: @Nantes
MID: @StaR
GKer: @y

It remains to be seen who will win the Princes/Gunmen game, but this week they beat a respectable Squares team so it's hard not to keep them at #2 in the power rankings.


Compton Cop Killers

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Disturb pls
FWD: @Ezek
MID: @kasper dolberg
GKer: @Archie

Albeit an easy week, playing 3 of the 4 worst teams in the league, this team continues to take care of business and now sit at #2 on the standings. I still question whether they can beat Princes or Gunmen in the playoffs but so far this team has been impressive to watch.


Austin Gunmen

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @EDIN DZEKO
FWD: @Carlitos
MID: @el jefe
GKer: @7watts

Not much to talk about considering they didn't play a game this week. But in support of Dzeko, @Naipe should stop being a cuck and set Dzeko free.
  (un)

Scottballa's Dynasty

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Miroslav Stoch
FWD: @scottballa
MID: @rylan
GKer: @Apple

Another team with an extremely easy week. This team just keeps on winning and taking care of business. Will be interesting to see if they can keep on rolling and maybe take that #4 spot on the standings by the end of next week.


Tiananmen Squares

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Shiver
FWD: @Bored
MID: @Chewbacca
GKer: @wck

Another solid week for the Squares. This next week will be their toughest week of the season. If they want to take a step up in the power rankings they will have to put on solid performances against both the Gunmen and Circle Jerk teams.


NWO

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Pavelski
FWD: @montskar
MID: @Professor
GKer: @Zelos

Despite an autistic Monday night, this team is still solid and can be a good middle of the pack team. If they lose to Storm which they will then they just suck LOL ROFL!!!!!
  (swt)

Sith's Assassin Syndicate

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Gballer
FWD: @Bubble
MID: @Mfk ????????????
GKer: @prosp ?????????

Lord knows what is going on with this team. Only four on the roster, no GM, bubble would rather play on the shittiest team in the league than here. Mfk is pure cancer. Someone set gballer free.
  ???

Sacramento Storm

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Mafia
FWD: @II Faraone
MID: @OSCIM
GKer: @Heimer

Won two out of five games this week what can I say had a good run.
  (smirk)

Imperial Jizzers

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @question
FWD: @oppa
MID: @Leverage
GKer: @Jizd

Pure autism coming from this team last week. Get it together boys.
  (d)

Las Vegas Kings

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Gleg
FWD: @Crumbler
MID: @Mango Man
GKer: @Luke

Hurricane Irma killed half this team. They have 1,543,951,625 makeup games so technically they are still in the playoff chase.
  (wary)

SS Sixty Niners

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @phillyalex
FWD: @Kevinm31
MID: @Frenchy
GKer: @kamel

Good god just disband this team already.
  (smirk)

Mid Season Award Predictions

MVP : el jefe
This team is a middle of the pack team without el jefe.

OPOTY : pixels
Guy has 17 more points than the next closest person, who also is on the same team.

MIDOTY : lindros
Hard not to give MIDOTY to the best mid in all of haxball and to a guy who is on an undefeated team.

GKOTY : myles
Yeah I don't see anybody else winning this besides dox.

GMOTY : Nap
He put together a solid roster and currently has a 9-3 record. SS uncle willy.

5MOTY : carlitos
yeah hooking my boy up with an award

ROTY : shiver
I literally couldn't name another rookie plus this guy is pretty damn good. Probably a multi but hapns.  (hmm)

Most Improved : oscim
I've never seen him play mid before this season but he's been the most consistant player on a shitty team. Toss him an award.

Smallest Dick pav or chinni or dox
Pav for temporarily disbanding a team(no heart) or chinni just for being chinni. Or dox because he whines more than a pregnant woman.

Sitting down with a SPHB legend: White Chocolate

BreadMan: Welcome White Chocolate and thank you for doing this interview. First off, what have you been doing since leaving SPHB and haxball?

White Chocolate: Well after leaving my illustrious carrer on the Snipers/Raiders, I still stuck around on xat for a bit. But that got pretty old so a few other SPHB'ers became friends on fb and joined a group chat thats still kicking around to this day. You got legends like Kiyoshi and Mart, some lesser known players like mediocrates is on there and teboq, but they are all a great group of guys that suck at fantasy football. From a game standpoint im still addicted to rocket league. Just hit over a 1000 hours and going strong. Hopefully I can grind my way to champion and join a few tourneys to see how it paid off.

BreadMan: Do you ever see a day where you make your much anticipated return to SPHB?

White Chocolate: Nah. I haven't played haxball seriously in at least 3 years. I don't know how much has changed strategy wise for the game since I left but I can't imagine much since it was a 2d game and theres only so much you find out. Honestly im shocked to see that league is still around.

BreadMan: What were some of your favorite memories during your time in SPHB?

White Chocolate: Season 3 man. What a peak for all the teams. Every team was stacked when you look back. I hate that I had to miss those playoffs and see us choke it to the bears but sjax, knox, shady, those were my bros. I also loved all the stupid minigames we came up with to play like swagball, baseketball, races, survivor. Hell my most fond memories of SPHB were playing all the other online games we could find with the members outside of haxball.

BreadMan: What was your main reason for leaving SPHB?

White Chocolate: Honestly I should have left earlier from a skill standpoint because I was past my prime as a bench minor player (shoutout to season 8 raiders we made it all the way). But I got tired of haxball and the league seemed boring to me. I still liked xat and spent more time in there than actually playing haxball so I figured that was the point where it was time to go. Plus I had a job taking up more time in my life.

BreadMan: You said you play a lot of Rocket League. Do you see any similarities in both games communities?


White Chocolate: Rocket League is a whole other beast. Its so popular and exposed to the esports market that its hard to find a niche community that wants to set up a small league like SPHB was. I'd say the similarities are found in players who set up weekly online tournments that amatuer players can be involved in. Theres always a fair share of toxic players in both communities but thankfully those are just a small minority compared to the several people who are welcoming and friendly to both communities. But rocket league will always be far too big to compare to SPHB

BreadMan: Alright well thanks again for doing this interview. It's not every day I get to interview a fellow oldfag. Do you have anything you'd like to say to close out the interview? Maybe toss a few shoutouts or give some advice to people thinking about leaving SPHB?

White Chocolate: FUCK VANC, SNIPERS 4 LYFE, SEASON 3 SNIPERS WOULDA BEAT ALL YOU SHITS, JOGN STILL TRASH AF, >TRAP, GODLEG IS A DEAF TRUMP SUPPORTER, I SHOULDA BEEN ON THE S1 MESSIAHS, ATD WAS CANCER, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FAGGOTS STILL PLAY HAXBALL JESUS WHAT SEASON IS THIS 40? GROW UP AND GET JOBS YOU MONGOLOIDS. SHOUTOUT TO FB CHAT, DISCORD CHAT, ALL MY TEXAS BROS. I MISS WHATABURGER PLEASE HELP ME IM A CALI FAG NOW THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP.

Video of the Week:

@Vypereus

Gif of the Week:

@OSCIM
« Last Edit: September 15, 2017, 09:43:16 pm by Breaddard Stark »

Offline Dox

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2017, 02:36:40 pm »
-6
@Pavelski this is what i mean by bad players voting for awards? how is el jefe MVP? guy's been living off of his fake cups he's no better than players like dzeko and rich.

Also toss ROTY and Most Improved to @Atticus. This was his first d1 season where he started, he was actually a back up in d2 in the seasons prior, but he's done great job GKing for me in Siths, and improved throughout the season, guy is a shutdown GK. He currently has #3 GAA in league despite playing with people like II Faraonie, Gballer, Luciano and Flossy all season. Those two awards belong to him it shouldn't even be close really.

Offline Breadman

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2017, 02:47:10 pm »
+2
added @Dox to smallest penis nominees (smirk)

Offline white chocolate

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2017, 08:50:29 pm »
+5
One of your questions isn't formatted blue like the rest are. Would not hire for actual magazine.
ATD Hall of Fame S1
Founder and former GM Dallas Snipers S2-6
"white chocolate: you always brought the team something whether it was a goal or an assist in the time of need, youre a clutch player." - recks

WACO RAIDERS S8 CHAMPIONS

Offline Breadman

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2017, 08:51:42 pm »
+2
One of your questions isn't formatted blue like the rest are. Would not hire for actual magazine.

?

Offline white chocolate

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2017, 09:18:24 pm »
+3
One of your questions isn't formatted blue like the rest are. Would not hire for actual magazine.

?

v

(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 15, 2017, 09:22:44 pm by white chocolate »
ATD Hall of Fame S1
Founder and former GM Dallas Snipers S2-6
"white chocolate: you always brought the team something whether it was a goal or an assist in the time of need, youre a clutch player." - recks

WACO RAIDERS S8 CHAMPIONS

Offline manof1000pancakes

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2017, 09:19:28 pm »
+4
fuck you choco you didnt even fucking name drop me in the fb chat shoutouts kill yourself i'm gonna kick your ass again in fantasy football

Online Dzeko

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2017, 10:20:23 pm »
+11
@Pavelski this is what i mean by bad players voting for awards? how is el jefe MVP? guy's been living off of his fake cups he's no better than players like dzeko and rich.


I truly and genuinely worry about your mental state and health at this point.. Like I used to hate you because you would shit talk me because you genuinely hate me which I really could care less if you did because its truly just a video game at this point and I don't care enough for it anymore, however I really don't hate you but the fact that you constantly bring my name up when I don't even pay an ounce of attention to you anymore is just mind-boggling.. But I constantly see you on these forums and I honestly feel SO bad for you at this point, like you've been in the league for nearly 4 years and I'm nearing my 7th year in the league and you legit have more online time than me by a lot... I don't know if you've been bullied throughout your life that you feel it necessary to just hop onto the haxball forums and shit talk/bully every single person you see, like I have genuinely never seen you happy for a single person no matter their accomplishments in this league. You really have some fucking issues like I genuinely used to be like you, I used to play this game a lot and shit talk people and maybe this is gods ironic way of showing me how I used to be when it came to trash talking/bullying people when I hadn't achieved anything but you have taken it to a whole new level.. You legit are a fucking asshole and I wish nothing but the worst for you, play the fucking game and have fun instead of down sizing every single person you come across, instead of shit talking them, throw a fucking compliment and stop shit posting......... If you were someone who truly has just won a lot of championships and was actually good at the game I wouldn't mind all this trash talking but you legit have nothing to your name and you talk as if you've won as many times as dgby or some other legends... I really don't understand your attitude and I've never put anyone on a block list on these forums before but lmao there's a first for everything, I cannot stand reading your posts anymore, I genuinely hope you overcome your sickness that you have.. god bless you man for real

Offline Heimer

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2017, 11:25:26 pm »
+3
@Pavelski this is what i mean by bad players voting for awards? how is el jefe MVP? guy's been living off of his fake cups he's no better than players like dzeko and rich.


I truly and genuinely worry about your mental state and health at this point.. Like I used to hate you because you would shit talk me because you genuinely hate me which I really could care less if you did because its truly just a video game at this point and I don't care enough for it anymore, however I really don't hate you but the fact that you constantly bring my name up when I don't even pay an ounce of attention to you anymore is just mind-boggling.. But I constantly see you on these forums and I honestly feel SO bad for you at this point, like you've been in the league for nearly 4 years and I'm nearing my 7th year in the league and you legit have more online time than me by a lot... I don't know if you've been bullied throughout your life that you feel it necessary to just hop onto the haxball forums and shit talk/bully every single person you see, like I have genuinely never seen you happy for a single person no matter their accomplishments in this league. You really have some fucking issues like I genuinely used to be like you, I used to play this game a lot and shit talk people and maybe this is gods ironic way of showing me how I used to be when it came to trash talking/bullying people when I hadn't achieved anything but you have taken it to a whole new level.. You legit are a fucking asshole and I wish nothing but the worst for you, play the fucking game and have fun instead of down sizing every single person you come across, instead of shit talking them, throw a fucking compliment and stop shit posting......... If you were someone who truly has just won a lot of championships and was actually good at the game I wouldn't mind all this trash talking but you legit have nothing to your name and you talk as if you've won as many times as dgby or some other legends... I really don't understand your attitude and I've never put anyone on a block list on these forums before but lmao there's a first for everything, I cannot stand reading your posts anymore, I genuinely hope you overcome your sickness that you have.. god bless you man for real

There's a block list? Jesus christ thank the lord @pixels @Compass @Lindros enjoy your cancer, stay healthy friends.

@Dox Peace lol dont have to see your dumbass comments on my posts anymore. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you cant even accept my compliments without replying telling me that Im still shit because I think my friends (carl/rich) are better than you. You make me laugh, but to the point where I want to make sure I have food in my mouth while I choke so I can die and never hear a meaningless word out of your mouth ever again.

Offline Flossy

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2017, 11:47:51 pm »
+2
@Pavelski this is what i mean by bad players voting for awards? how is el jefe MVP? guy's been living off of his fake cups he's no better than players like dzeko and rich.


I truly and genuinely worry about your mental state and health at this point.. Like I used to hate you because you would shit talk me because you genuinely hate me which I really could care less if you did because its truly just a video game at this point and I don't care enough for it anymore, however I really don't hate you but the fact that you constantly bring my name up when I don't even pay an ounce of attention to you anymore is just mind-boggling.. But I constantly see you on these forums and I honestly feel SO bad for you at this point, like you've been in the league for nearly 4 years and I'm nearing my 7th year in the league and you legit have more online time than me by a lot... I don't know if you've been bullied throughout your life that you feel it necessary to just hop onto the haxball forums and shit talk/bully every single person you see, like I have genuinely never seen you happy for a single person no matter their accomplishments in this league. You really have some fucking issues like I genuinely used to be like you, I used to play this game a lot and shit talk people and maybe this is gods ironic way of showing me how I used to be when it came to trash talking/bullying people when I hadn't achieved anything but you have taken it to a whole new level.. You legit are a fucking asshole and I wish nothing but the worst for you, play the fucking game and have fun instead of down sizing every single person you come across, instead of shit talking them, throw a fucking compliment and stop shit posting......... If you were someone who truly has just won a lot of championships and was actually good at the game I wouldn't mind all this trash talking but you legit have nothing to your name and you talk as if you've won as many times as dgby or some other legends... I really don't understand your attitude and I've never put anyone on a block list on these forums before but lmao there's a first for everything, I cannot stand reading your posts anymore, I genuinely hope you overcome your sickness that you have.. god bless you man for real

He has accomplished 2 things tbh.

He's gonna get carried to a cup so he can brag about it like he earned it.

He also completely killed off whatever activity these forums had over the past 2 seasons.  People don't wanna post threads when he literally shits up every single one of them and cannot be reasoned with whatsoever.  I blame @Pavelski for not muting him.

Offline Dox

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2017, 12:39:43 am »
+2
Dzeko - Took 30 seasons to improve keeps bragging about fake cups, above average d1 player. Failed rapper.
Heimer - Delusional player, basically a poor man version of Dzeko, has done nothing in this league. Find a game that better suits you.
Flossy - Below average d1 player, has a rage problem. Also likes to blatantly lie to your face, and pretend to know stuff. Stop taking this so seriously.

you guys cant handle the truth lol
« Last Edit: September 16, 2017, 12:43:39 am by Dox »

Offline Dox

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2017, 12:51:48 am »
0
@Pavelski this is what i mean by bad players voting for awards? how is el jefe MVP? guy's been living off of his fake cups he's no better than players like dzeko and rich.


I truly and genuinely worry about your mental state and health at this point.. Like I used to hate you because you would shit talk me because you genuinely hate me which I really could care less if you did because its truly just a video game at this point and I don't care enough for it anymore, however I really don't hate you but the fact that you constantly bring my name up when I don't even pay an ounce of attention to you anymore is just mind-boggling.. But I constantly see you on these forums and I honestly feel SO bad for you at this point, like you've been in the league for nearly 4 years and I'm nearing my 7th year in the league and you legit have more online time than me by a lot... I don't know if you've been bullied throughout your life that you feel it necessary to just hop onto the haxball forums and shit talk/bully every single person you see, like I have genuinely never seen you happy for a single person no matter their accomplishments in this league. You really have some fucking issues like I genuinely used to be like you, I used to play this game a lot and shit talk people and maybe this is gods ironic way of showing me how I used to be when it came to trash talking/bullying people when I hadn't achieved anything but you have taken it to a whole new level.. You legit are a fucking asshole and I wish nothing but the worst for you, play the fucking game and have fun instead of down sizing every single person you come across, instead of shit talking them, throw a fucking compliment and stop shit posting......... If you were someone who truly has just won a lot of championships and was actually good at the game I wouldn't mind all this trash talking but you legit have nothing to your name and you talk as if you've won as many times as dgby or some other legends... I really don't understand your attitude and I've never put anyone on a block list on these forums before but lmao there's a first for everything, I cannot stand reading your posts anymore, I genuinely hope you overcome your sickness that you have.. god bless you man for real

Someone is mad...

Offline Pavelski

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2017, 12:57:30 am »
+3
Tbh, you dropped the ball @Breaddard Stark . I have the play of the week. I turned an OG chance into an assist vs the Jizzers. Shoutout to my haters that need me to score goals for them to in order to beat me. Enjoy your gifts while they last.

@Dox bruh, chill out. You are literally picking fights with like 10 people per thread. I get it bruh, you found your way out and on a great team. But you don't gotta like prove you are something by shitposting. Just do it with your play.

@Flossy Let him say what he wants to say. He still gets bullied in pubs sometimes lmao. Until he actually shows he has improved past a certain point it doesn't matter what he says.
The players must come first. We won't have a league if there are no players.

If you have questions on anything. Please PM me and I will get back to you ASAP.

Offline Dox

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #13 on: September 16, 2017, 01:01:33 am »
0
Tbh, you dropped the ball @Breaddard Stark . I have the play of the week. I turned an OG chance into an assist vs the Jizzers. Shoutout to my haters that need me to score goals for them to in order to beat me. Enjoy your gifts while they last.

@Dox bruh, chill out. You are literally picking fights with like 10 people per thread. I get it bruh, you found your way out and on a great team. But you don't gotta like prove you are something by shitposting. Just do it with your play.

@Flossy Let him say what he wants to say. He still gets bullied in pubs sometimes lmao. Until he actually shows he has improved past a certain point it doesn't matter what he says.
i disagree with the getting bullied comment but I understand it will help flossy feel better.

Offline Mfk

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Return of an Oldfag Edition/Mid Season Awards
« Reply #14 on: September 16, 2017, 01:04:00 am »
+8
Can confirm Flossy is a bit of a compulsive liar / know-it-all, esp. through mic on discord. I still like the try-hard for some reason. (hmm)

Dox is a bit slow and dull/basic as a person in general tbf. Good mid tho and his unironic arguing on the forums makes me laugh. Reminds me of Chinni in that sense.

Dzeko a bipolar snake. Not clever enough to get away with any forms of manipulation he attempts. Definitely stole from his own mother's purse at some point in his life. Clutch/elite doe.

Already talked about Tavares in a different post.

Someone do me.