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Author Topic: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees  (Read 838 times)

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Offline Breadman

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  • [D2] Sydney Kangaroos
  • Position: Goalkeeper
  • Retired Oldfag
  • Past Name: Breaddard Stark
  • Posts: 6951
  • pixels is a lil bitch
  • Respect: +6877
  • SPHB Awards Member of the Season 22 Division 2 Champions - Austin Gunmen User has given a tip to SPHB Rank 1 on the Highest Single Tips All-Time table Member of the Season 27 Division 2 Champion - Sacramento Storm Member of the SPHB All-Star Team - Season 22
+10
Power Rankings Post Week 6

The Circle Jerk

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @pixels
FWD: @Compass
MID: @Lindros
GKer: @Myles

Jerks finally cut that cancerous fuck @Dox and brought back their vastly superior goalkeeper myles. They played two worthy competitors this week and passed with flying colors, beating CCK 3-0 and Squares 7-0. If other teams plan on figuring out a way to beat this team in a best out of 3/5 series, they'd better hurry up fast.


Austin Gunmen

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Carlitos
FWD: @EDIN DZEKO
MID: @el jefe
GKer: @Naipe

They beat four out of the five other current playoff teams in one week, without el jefe. Both dzeko and fruit stepped up this week in unfamiliar positions, and carlitos continues to carry as I predicted he would. This is legitimately the only team with a chance of beating the Jerks in a playoff series, having lost both of their regular season match ups in OT.


Compton Cop Killas

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Flare
FWD: @Disturb pls
MID: @kasper dolberg
@GKer: @Archie

This team went on a little downward spiral in week six but still managed to beat the Princes 2-0. I don't have much hope for their chances at winning a cup but the job @NAP has done to lead this team to the top 3 without any real star players shouldn't go unnoticed. #napgmoty


Qatari Princes

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @HashBrowns
FWD: @Nantes
MID: @Leverage
GKer: @-09

This team went 5-2 in week six, beating literally all the shit teams and losing to the elite teams. And not to mention Justin let @Breaddard Stark score on him so................


Scottballa's Dynasty

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Miroslav Stoch
FWD: @Nash
MID: @scottballa
GKer: @Yasssss

This team is currently on a five game winning streak. They've looked impressive all season. Stoch is third in goals scored and yassssss is quietly making a case for being GKOTY. A lot of upside on this team and credit to scottballa for putting together a solid team. I just don't see them being able to beat the top of the food chain teams in the playoffs.


Sith's Assassin Syndicate

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Gballer
FWD: @Rory99
MID: @prosp
GKer: @Dox

They went 3-1 last week(although two of those games have to be replayed) but beating Compton in OT was very impressive. Rory99 might not be ROTY this season but he may very well be most improved next season if he continues to develop his game. Dox is a top 5 GKer and gives his team a chance against most teams. Good job GMing this team gballer.



Tiananmen Squares

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Chewbacca
FWD: @TDA
MID: @Shiver
GKer: @wck

Squares are on the outside looking in for the playoff chase. This weeks 1-3 record might have ended their chances at getting the sixth seed. They'll need to win two of the final three games and hope the Siths don't win any of their remaining games. Shiver is still the breakout player of the season so there's that.


New World Order

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @montskar
FWD: @Pavelski
MID: @Professor
GKer: @Jizd

This talented team has under performed all season. They still have a small possibility of making the playoffs if they can win out and Siths/Squares implode but I wouldn't hold my breath.


Sacramento Storm

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @II Faraone
FWD: @Joey / @Nik
MID: @OSCIM
GKer: @Breaddard Stark

Nothing has worked for this team all season. Oscim has been the only consistent player and he should be commended for sticking it out on such a train wreck of a team all season. @Mafia is gay and has killed any possible team chemistry we wanted to get. We need a 4th down and 25 hail mary from the great Aaron Rodgers to make the playoffs. Have six games next week so lets do this boys.
  (yay)

Las Vegas Kings

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Mango Man
FWD: @question
MID: @Luke
GKer: @Crumbler

They have eight games to play next week so even the shit tier Kings aren't out of the playoff race.
  (smirk)

SS Sixty Niners

Projected Lineup:

FWD: @Kevinm31
FWD: @Pingu
MID: @Frenchy
GKer: @Heimer

I keep hearing from @kamel about how this team is finally going to be good and win games. Unfortunately for kamel the only game his team is going to win is against a disbanded team. Three points is three points though.


Imperial Jizzers RIP 2017-2017

Pixel Costas sits down with a haxgod

Pixel: Hello BreadMan, thanks for joining me for an interview on SPHB magazine. Firstly, how did you come to discover haxball and SPHB?

BreadMan: Well I was a moderator on the official All Points Bulletin: Reloaded game forums and a member of one of the top APB clans, Code Killers. I was in their teamspeak one day and someone suggested we play this new 2D flash game called haxball. I didn't really care for it at the time, probably played two games, then went back to sucking at APB because my computer at the time was trash. I slowly faded away from the APB game community. A few weeks later I was bored out of my mind and came across haxball again somehow. There were a lot of people playing even back in 2011 and once I got the hang of things I feel in love with the game and started hosting and playing 6+ hours a day. Shortly after that someone told me about a competitive league called SPHB. The rest is history.

Pixel: Who were some players you started out playing with or looked to for advice?

BreadMan: Well shortly before the SPHB season 4 draft, I remember @GeorgeBoner and @Godleg and @Liu Kang being very impressed with my goalkeeping. I fondly remember me and @7watts having some good battles in the net. I looked up to @7watts back then because he was already widely regarded as a top one or two GKer and I strived to play like him. Also I remember playing a lot with the Brazilian sensation Aruda.

Pixel: What are some of your favorite memories during your SPHB career?

BreadMan: I'll go ahead and name two. The first was season 11 and getting to play on the Tsunamis with the likes of @Shamino @arse @Nantes @INSINUATE and @zobz .To be able to play on an elite squad like that and to feel like I was accepted as a player on that team, was great. I didn't necessarily play great before that season so it was an honor to play on such a great team filled with studs and they carried me to having a 0.78 GAA, which was easily my best season stats wise for GKer. Also had @Oni working with me every night which was an honor learning from him. The other one, which still to this day remains to be my favorite time in SPHB, didn't exactly start out good. @Naipe drafted me to the Gunmen and probably five seconds later cut me from the team. I was irate. Then I played for a few different teams throughout the season, but credit goes to @stapler for making me try to be a career forward. I ended up having 17 goals and 5 assists, before being signed to the Gunmen on the last day of free agency. We ended up winning the cup that season and I got to play for like 2 minutes in the finals.

Pixel: It's no secret haxball is a dying game and SPHB is a dwindling community with maybe two seasons left. What, if anything can be done about this?

BreadMan: At this point there isn't much that can be done. I've always said that haxball should be on Steam. Fuck recoding haxball for HTML5 @basro . That's just prolonging the inevitable death of haxball as we know it. You need to take the game to the biggest platform that has 15 million concurrent users. That's literally the only solution. As for SPHB, we'll always get those random new people on the site that come out of the blue but I don't think there is any solution to going back to the days when we had 400+ users online pretty much every day. We tried merging SPHB with the real soccer league but this toxic community drove off dozens of RS players so......

Pixel: What are some things you would change about SPHB?

BreadMan: I'd start out with a side league of 3v3 that only plays on Thursday and Sunday nights. I'd also clean house with league staff. Half of them don't do anything, the other half are incompetent and shouldn't even be allowed to take my order at Taco Bell let alone run a competitive league for haxball.

Pixel: You've been in SPHB for 20+ seasons. What motivates you to get up each morning and continue playing in SPHB?


BreadMan: Competition mainly. I mean I know I'll never win a D1 cup unless I get lucky enough to bench on @pixels team and I have 2 D2 cups already so I'm not motivated by cups at all. And I know I've reached my talent peak like twenty seasons ago so I'm not motivated to improve. But the night in and night out competition motivates me.

Pixel: Are there any players currently in SPHB you'd love to play alongside?

BreadMan: Frenchy and Maxie. Those Australians over at HBANZ are really chill. Also I played like half a game with lindros when I was briefly on the Princes but I'd love to have an elite mid to play with.

Pixel: In five years......breadman is playing ________?

BreadMan: Hopefully haxball. I don't really play video games anymore just those pervy Sakura games on Steam. Once I get a console I doubt I'll be playing any PC games.

Pixel: How would you sum up season 28 as we near the end of the season?

BreadMan: Was really a throwaway season once pixels and lindros teamed up again. It's really been a battle between the #2-#12 teams to see who comes in 2nd place.

Pixel: Alright bread, thanks for the interview. Do you have any parting words for SPHB or players you'd like to toss a shout out to?

BreadMan: Shout outs to oscim, dopesayo, georgeboner, mediocrates, firecrotch, @wolfy  and @Trollface Gillies

SEASON 28 HALL OF FAME NOMINEES


@Kiss Kiss  aka Julian

Ranks 7th all time in goals scored
Ranks 9th all time in points scored
Ranks 7th all time in PPG
Ranks 8th all time in posts made
3 time D1 cup* winner
1 time Best Offensive Player
1 time Best Attack
Best LoL player

@nikka p aka nikka pedo

Ranks 2nd all time in goals scored
Ranks 1st all time in assists made
Ranks 1st all time in points scored
Ranks 1st all time in +/-
Ranks 1st all time in PPG
Ranks 10th all time in offensive minutes played
3 time D1 cup winner
3 time D1 MVP winner
1 time D1 All-Star
1 time D1 best midfielder winner
8 time D1 OPOTY

@El Diablo aka diabro

Ranks 6th all time in goals scored
Ranks 5th all time in assists made
Ranks 5th all time in points scored
Ranks 5th all time in +/-
Ranks 3rd all time in D1 PPG
Ranks 5th all time in D2 PPG
1 time D1 cup winner
2 time D2 cup winner
1 time D1 All Star
1 time D1 MVP
1 time D1 best 5th man
1 time D1 GMOTY
1 time D2 GMOTY
1 time D2 OPOTY

@Cell

Ranks 3rd all time in goals scored
Ranks 9th all time in assists made
Ranks 6th all time in points scored
Ranks 7th all time in offensive minutes played
1 time D1 cup winner
1 time D2 cup winner
1 time D1 All Star
2 time D1 OPOTY
1 time D1 ROTY
1 time D2 MVP


Video of the Week


 (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd)  (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd) (xd)

Gif of the Week


Offline Dox

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  • [D1] Snow Island Disco Penguins
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  • SPHB Awards Member of the Season 25 Division 1 Champions - Elite Four Player said to have the smallest dick of Season 28
Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2017, 11:53:30 am »
-4
lol'd at gunmen having a chance to beat cirlcejerk

cell being a hof nominee was funny too

Offline Dzeki

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  • PYOT
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  • SPHB Awards Member of the Season 24 Division 1 Champions - Austin Gunmen Member of the Season 25 Division 1 Champions - Austin Gunmen Player said to have the smallest dick of Season 20
Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2017, 12:14:36 pm »
+4
lol'd at gunmen having a chance to beat cirlcejerk

cell being a hof nominee was funny too
ya you're right, you the almighty dox have a way better chance than we do

Never back down.

Offline Rory99

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2017, 12:30:33 pm »
+2
Quote
Rory99 might not be ROTY this season but he may very well be most improved next season if he continues to develop his game.

You have to devise a new reward

Offline Cell

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  • Respect: +1654
  • SPHB Awards Player was voted as the most offensive D1 player of Season 25 Member of the SPHB All-Star Team - Season 22 Member of the Season 19 Division 1 Champion - Tiananmen Squares Division 1 Best Offensive Player - Season 18 Division 2 MVP - Season 13 Player was voted as the D1 Best Rookie of Season 12 Member of the Season 11 Division 2 Champion - Rostock U-Boats
Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2017, 02:56:07 pm »
+3
lol'd at gunmen having a chance to beat cirlcejerk

cell being a hof nominee was funny too
ya you're right, you the almighty dox have a way better chance than we do
he just mad that even out of my prime i was still so much better than him ;p

Offline Breadman

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  • [D2] Sydney Kangaroos
  • Position: Goalkeeper
  • Retired Oldfag
  • Past Name: Breaddard Stark
  • Posts: 6951
  • pixels is a lil bitch
  • Respect: +6877
  • SPHB Awards Member of the Season 22 Division 2 Champions - Austin Gunmen User has given a tip to SPHB Rank 1 on the Highest Single Tips All-Time table Member of the Season 27 Division 2 Champion - Sacramento Storm Member of the SPHB All-Star Team - Season 22
Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2017, 03:14:44 pm »
+3
lol'd at gunmen having a chance to beat cirlcejerk

cell being a hof nominee was funny too

please don't shit on another one of my sphb magazine threads (un)

Offline MVP

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2017, 03:25:18 pm »
+3
>toast asked me to rep him through steam
>haxball
>ppl who still play haxball
>haxball league
1v1 me csgo ill destroy you
1v1 irl ill rip u apart
pce out motherfuckers

Offline Breadman

  • *
  • [D2] Sydney Kangaroos
  • Position: Goalkeeper
  • Retired Oldfag
  • Past Name: Breaddard Stark
  • Posts: 6951
  • pixels is a lil bitch
  • Respect: +6877
  • SPHB Awards Member of the Season 22 Division 2 Champions - Austin Gunmen User has given a tip to SPHB Rank 1 on the Highest Single Tips All-Time table Member of the Season 27 Division 2 Champion - Sacramento Storm Member of the SPHB All-Star Team - Season 22
Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2017, 03:37:30 pm »
+1
@Mfk is that you laughing in the video?

Offline Dox

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  • Position: Midfielder
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  • SPHB Awards Member of the Season 25 Division 1 Champions - Elite Four Player said to have the smallest dick of Season 28
Re: SPHB Magazine - Season 28 Pixels is Bob Costas Edition/HoF Nominees
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2017, 05:25:17 pm »
0
Oh look jefes tier 2 level followers attacking me