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Offline DJ Khaled

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SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« on: June 19, 2017, 03:44:50 am »
+21

Another solid week here at SPHB. The Magazine Front Office (me) is really, really pushing when we publish the "weekend magazine." I have to go to work at 8am tomorrow so I'm gonna sleep. Jesus christ is 3:45am. Anyways as always comment and give us feedback. Thanks everyone (afro)


SPHB D1 Power Rankings
by DJ Khaled

TeamRecordRecent TransactionsDescriptionChange
12 W
3 L
1 OTW
NoneControversial win over the Keys this week, but they did not have their all star line up starting. Everyone in the league knows these guys are the real deal. They're the top seed and everyone's bet for the playoffs. We just have to see if this team is the 2017 Warriors of the 2016 Warriors- will they roll over everyone or blow a title that might already be theres.
11 W
3 L
2 OTL
Added muffin via trade
Traded away Renbeaudach
The Gunmen have honestly been quieter than I've expected this season. Okay yes, they've never fallen from top 3 in the standings, and yes, Compass is killing it offensively this season. Their games are just steam rolls over each team, but the question remains, how will they match up against the Unicornz.
6 W
7 L
1 OTW
2 OTL
Added Nantes via trade
Added -09 via trade
Added Wayne via trade
Added Prizzle via trade
Traded away spart
Traded away negbro
Traded away Dox
Traded away Yigi
The only player on this team from week 1 - DJ Khaled. This is a brand new Keys team, and they have a number of different line ups that could see them make a run in the playoffs. Shout out to Stoch for being a vital part of this past week's success in big games against the Squares and Unicornz. +5
11 W
3 L
1 OTW
1 OTL
Hidden was on the block the entire season. Team received no offers for him as no team in either division wanted him. My apologies to the squares, it must be tough.I think the show up at 8:50, play your game, go home method is starting to wear off on this team. This line up, in my unprofessional and awful haxball opinion, could beat the unicorns when each player is at their best from both teams. Unfortunately they lost to the Keys this week and were absolutely destroyed by the Gunmen in week 3. This final week will tell of how ready they are for the playoffs. -1
4 W
9 L
2 OTW
1 OTL
Added stapler via trade
Traded away Will
Bored, in a shocking twist of events, has also turned the season around for the Turtles. From at team that was once near the bottom of the table in points and power rankings is now number 5 and in a playoff spot.+3
2 W
7 L
4 OTW
2 OTL
Added Renbeaudach via trade
Signed Yahoo
Cut kamel :'(
Oscim's team is struggling for one reason and one reason only - overtime. They've played 6 games in overtime this season and sacrificed too many precious points in the standings to after regulation wins and losses. They've had an interesting trade deadline, so let's see how these last five games turn out for them.
3 W
7 L
2 OTW
3 OTL
NoneTheres a lot of must win games in the near future for this team. Their presumed starting lineup suffered a lost to the Turtles, and the decision to start three Euro players is equally bold and concerning. Now each European playing along the side of North Americans, their is no issue in their games, but with three ping-affected players on the same team, the Lions have struggled to generate some really exciting offense that we've all been expecting.-3
2 W
14 L
Added Yigi via trade
Traded away Wayne
Traded away Yigi
Added 5rr via trade
No turning this season around unfortunately. They lost to the Unicornz in a great match, but they needed to win the majority of their games going forward to be playoff contenders. From here on out it's Luciano's job to prep his team for the last play game, the regulation series, the battle of the bads.-1



D1 Goal of the Week - Stoch and Spart
(click to show/hide)



SPHB D1 Team of the Week - Week 5
by montskar and DJ Khaled



Players

CP - pixelsNotable Stats and Achivements
Minutes: 155:50
Goals: 20        *5 this week
Assists: 14      *6 this week
PPG: 3.05
+35 Differential
Notable team Wins: Lions, Keys


DFWD - El DiabloNotable Stats and Achivements
Minutes: 117:56
Goals: 21        *7 this week
Assists: 24      *5 this week
PPG: 5.34
+53 Differential
Notable team wins: Elite 4, Lions


MID - RedNotable Stats and Achivements
Minutes: 118:04
Goals: 14          *9 this week
Assists: 6          *5 this week
PPG: 2.37
-9 Differential
Notable team wins: Squares, NYHC


GK -7wattsNotable Stats and Achivements
Minutes: 150:54
Goals Against: 13       *5 this week
GAA: 1.62
+48 Differential
Notable team wins:  Elite 4, Lions



SPHB Player Profiles - GatZ Chamberlain
by DJ Khaled

DJ Khaled: So how did you first get into haxball Gatz, and how'd you first get into SPHB from there?

GatZ: Hmm well I think i first got into haxball in summer of 2011 . I found it from another game I used to play goallineblitz.com forums . I don't actually recall signing up for SPHB but i did so after playing in pubs for awhile. i don't think i would've stayed in SPHB were it not for the one of a kind community. actually looking back. nvm its not interesting

DJ Khaled: Since you've been an SPHB member for a long time, who would you say really made the forums and the SPHB community the strongest when you think back to the earlier times of this league?

GatZ: the funny thing is , the best posters happened to be the best haxball players quite often. I joined in season 4 and quickly became an integral part of the community mostly because i joined a group of haxballers on skype that kept me interested in the game, but from season 4-12...the peak of SPHB

DJ Khaled: Who were your biggest influences as a player throughout your career here?

GatZ: some names that made this community so beautiful are in no order: @Shamgod , @ADVANCED , @GOOBER  , @nikka p  , @T90  , @Hot Shower  , @Cookie  , @Kroko , @Kiss Kiss , @ReVoLuTiiOn , @Gucci Mane  , @umadbrehh , @Az  , @Bshh , @StaR . prob a lot more im missing. (Players have been tagged at the request of sir gatzby). as a player i never really intentionally tried to play like a certain player but just looked at what all the best players did, and tried to incorporate whatever i saw into my own game. kiss kiss once said i was the best offensive player at a time but sucked on D (which was true at the time). although my D was never bad it was not elite like it should have been. that was probably why i got benched for StaR in season 8 and lost the cup. ill credit Rev Umad and Gucci though - i played with them the most and naturally picked up a lot of what made them good

DJ Khaled: So can you point to any specific team or season that was your favorite? Maybe a few? I would definitely personally say that our season together on the Keys last year was my favorite. Maybe a few players or games that really made the season a highlight.

GatZ: Season 8 Bears was definitely my favorite season in my long time here . I finally had gotten my chance in d1 with the bears thanks to my relationship with their GM Gucci Mane and as I got subbed in a 0-0 game at half time , finished the game with 5 points in a 5-0 finish .
bone   After my 10ppg debut i had basically become a starter since the bears lineup only had myself rkd and gucci show up most nights. We were the best team in the conference heading into playoffs. Playoff night i have to drop my gram gram to the airport and ended up missing the first 2 games of a best of 3. I rush back home in time for game 3 and deliver a clutch performance as we took the conference semi-finals (in a 20 team league) Conference finals starts and the team suddenly feels more comfortable with StaR at forward who just came off one of the best playoff performances a couple seasons ago with the Dynasty. They ended up losing the series in a sweep. No other season has really come close until the cup last season with the New England Keys. Also, Shout out to Season 12. I Single handedly broke ATDès Playoff Curse and beat the Squares 3-2 in the playoff game (play-in game **) that might have been the most fun game Iève ever played. went down 2-0 to the huge favorite Squares ended up scoring 3 in a row to finish the comeback and take the final playoff spot

DJ Khaled: As one of the top GMs in D2 right now, where do you honestly think the D2 playoffs are heading. Who are the contenders and pretenders of this division?

GatZ: Thats a good question
bone   I dont think the Bionic Pups, Brooklyn Bobcats, or Robot Bears have any chance at making a run . These teams will be lucky to sniff a playoff spot. As for the contenders and pretenders... It's really up for grabs and will just depend on matchups and possibly lag issues and unclassy GMs. After what Luciano pulled in the Finals against me and the Keys 2 seasons ago , Ièm always nervous around these petty GMs

DJ Khaled: Okay. Next question. It's no secret you love to trash talk. I'll give you the fact that you're trash talk isn't as petty and annoying as some of the other unnamed players on these forums, and to be honest you're one of the few trash talkers I enjoy reading. So what's your secret. SPHB is full of trolls, what sets you apart as a different breed of SPHB trash talk.

GatZ: Easy -- pick out the ez ones like Chinni Prissle or Oscim and you can never go wrong like just picture living in a house with those 3 plus Stapler and Drag and any coherent thought you form is probably funny in one way or another. if youre asking me what makes me different from the rest well theres very few good posters or trash talkers left. i dont think the good posters that are still around care enough to post

DJ Khaled: So what would you change to make this league more active. Whether it be the format of the league, the forums, the advertising of league - anything? How would commissioner Ocho B0n3d Gatzby act?

GatZ: Id go back in time and remove TT from commish. Thus completely changing the timeline and SPHB would be prospering right now. The only other change I can think of is advertising whether it be on Reddit or whatever. Rocket League for example which is based off haxball has taken its advertising to a next level partnering with WWE. Haxball with dedicated servers and a bigger userbase still has potential to be something special

DJ Khaled: Alright. Well to wrap it up, do you have any final thing you want to say to SPHB, maybe a few shout outs to specific players. Whatcha got for us

GatZ: If anyone wants to discuss adult cinema ever please do not hesitate to message me. Thanks for the questions DJ. ill c yall overseas. b0n3 out
« Last Edit: June 20, 2017, 07:19:05 pm by DJ Khaled »
Season 22 Highlights:
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*NEW* Season 27 Highlights
(click to show/hide)



Offline DJ Khaled

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2017, 03:49:17 am »
+9
See above for part one of the SPHB Magazine. Character count rules and stuff.



Sorry D2. Busy week blah blah blah not enough contributors (thank you nap for last minute contribution). Here's power rankings.
Highlights: It's a race of four. Any of the top four teams have a chance at the cup and honestly I couldn't pick the winner right now. It's a toss up. Chinni turned around the Pixies in ultimate fashion. Blessed made the Storm ultimate contenders with the addition of Slap and carlitos '-'. The Seals have had a top team all season, and that's not changing this week. The Gatz Beez are in my opinion the best gelling team. Gatz and Disturb remind me of Gatz and Real last season. This team needs a top mid to make them unbeatable, but I still like their lineup and see them going far.

TeamChange
+5
+1
-2
-2
-1
-1



SPHB D2 Team of the Week - Week 5
by montskar and DJ Khaled


Players

CP - LogitechNotable Stats and Achivements
Minutes: 159:07
Goals: 12        *9 this week
Assists: 5        *1 this week
PPG: 1.5
-26 Differential
Notable team Wins: Storm


DFWD - TavaresNotable Stats and Achivements
Minutes: 120:37
Goals: 8        *5 this week
Assists: 5      *3 this week
PPG: 1.18
-1 Differential
Notable team wins: Beez, Pixies


MID - ASAP ChinniNotable Stats and Achivements
Minutes: 112:28
Goals: 11        *5 this week
Assists: 14      *5 this week
PPG: 3.11
+26 Differential
Notable team wins: Beez


GK - wckNotable Stats and Achivements
Minutes: 161:51
Goals Against: 14     
GAA: 1.21
30 Differential
Notable team wins: Pixies, Beez, Storm



D2 Goal of the Week - Baines
(click to show/hide)



Off Topic Article - NBA TALK WITH NAP
by Nap

With the conclusion, of another entertaining, yet expected outcome to the NBA season, we now focus our attention to possible outcomes from the NBA draft and the Free Agency.

First off, let’s talk about the NBA Finals.
   This year’s NBA Finals was yet another episode of Warriors vs Cavs. As a Cavs fan myself, I am disappointed with the outcome but I can’t say I did not see it coming. With the addition of Kevin Durant, the team had way too much fire power, that Cleveland would need to not only play their best to beat them but also keep the warriors from playing at their best also. The better team won.

Here’s a short little interview with the manager of the Angry Unicorns @Geoff who is also fellow Cavs fan;

NAP: What were your immediate thoughts at the beginning of the NBA Finals?
Geoff: Immediate thoughts at beginning of NBA finals were that if the Cavs were going to win this series, they needed to steal one of the first two games at home, so I went in confident thinking they would do so after the Warriors were off for so long. This happened to them Game 1 vs the Spurs and if it wasn't for Kawhi getting injured they would have lost that game.


NAP: Do you in any way think the result of this finals, damages Lebron James legacy?
Geoff: I personally think LeBron has already established himself as the second best player in NBA history, and the only way he was ever going to make it over that mountain top known as Michael Jordan he was going to have to beat this Warriors team. I think he has maybe 2-3 years left to try and find a way to take them out, and if he can beat them once or twice I think he'd solidify himself worldwide as the second best player ever, and Bronsexuals like Nick Wright would have a field day trying to convince everyone he's the GOAT.


NAP: After the finals Lebron said he has never played for a super team, do you think he has?
Geoff: I'd say yes, even though the Heat weren't that great before he got there, it was still the "forming" of a great team, and I think the definition of superteam is great teams that aren't formed organically. The Warriors before Kevin Durant are a good example of an all time great team that was not a super team

NAP: Many Believe KD’s ring has an asterisk on it because of the “weak” decision he made, do you agee?
Geoff: I think it was a weak ass move but when his career is over nobody will care too much, nobody should care at least. I do think he tained his legacy a bit though.



Now moving on to the Draft and Players who are free agents,

PHILADEPHIA 76ERS
 If you did not know, 76ers and Boston have come to an agreement to swap picks plus Boston gets future first round picks as well. I believe this is a beautiful trade for the 76ers because as a young team they get to choose first out of a stacked draft to accompany: Ben Simmons, Joel Embiid, Jahlil Okafor, and many more young talent. They will be selecting Fultz, who would be an outstanding pick and eliminates ideas of Simmons running point. This past season showed that the future was bright for 76ers fans and their organization. However, they remind me of how the Twolves built to get Lavine, Wiggins, KAT and despite the Twolves still being young, the time is ticking for them to have their breakout season

LONZO BALL: REAL OR FAKE
   The answer here is
(click to show/hide)
. Here are 3 reasons why Lonzo Ball is going to be a bust in the NBA.
1.   His dad has put a huge target on his back, and every rookie and even some current players will be going for his head.
2.   NCAA Elite Eight: UCLA vs Kentucky, in the biggest game of his career, Lonzo Ball disappeared and was out played in every aspect of the game by De’aaron Fox.
3.   Pressure: No 19/20-year-old has had this much pressure on himself since Lebron James. He is no Lebron James.

DJ Khaled’s Top 3 Draft Picks
(click to show/hide)

Free Agents
   NBA Free Agency is filled with stars such as: Lowry, Chris Paul, Gordon Hayward, Blake Griffin and Paul Millsap. Didn’t include steph and kd cause it’s obvious they are staying. However I am only going to talk about two: Chris Paul and Gordon Hayward

Chris Paul a.k.a Point god, the question is will he go to Spurs, chill with Clippers or entertain other deals. Going to San Antonio in my opinion, would be the most ideal situation for the Point Guard aspiring a ring. Getting to play for coach pop was a blessing for Kawhi and it will be for Chris Paul as well. Positives including, playing with a Power Forward who will love the pick and roll he has perfected, challenging for a ring, and less work load as he is not the only one that would be running their offense because they would still have a star in Kawhi. With the addition of Chris Paul, would this team be able to beat the warriors, immediate response is no, but after seeing what they did in game 1 in Oakland, in the words of Kevin Garnett “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLEEEEE”

   I don’t know what y’all think but Gordon Hayward is the best thing to happen in the NBA for white people since Larry Bird. He is not the super star Bird was, but I really enjoy watching his game. Ideally, he should go to the Celtics, to help the midget out. With Isiah and Gordon running things in the east Boston would distance themselves from teams like Toronto, Washington, Atlanta. The crazy thing is, they still have the 3rd overall and 6 first round picks in the next 2 years, If they can sign Gordon and trade for another key piece, there might be some trouble for the King.

   As a basketball fan, I am really excited for what is the come this upcoming season, even though we all know Warriors and Cavs coming back to the finals.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article, hope you enjoyed it.


SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition contributors:
DJ Khaled, montskar, GatZ Chamberlain, and Nap.



That's all we have on this week's SPHB Magazine. Again, give us feedback and we hope you get involved.
Looking to be a contributor to the SPHB Magazine? Message me or montskar with your specific ideas and we'll see what we can do.

Season 22 Highlights:
(click to show/hide)

*NEW* Season 27 Highlights
(click to show/hide)



Offline Miroslav Stoch

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  • Hey :D
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  • SPHB Awards Player was voted as the D1 Most Improved of Season 26 Player was voted as the Division 1 Most Improved - Season 20 Member of the Season 16 Division 3 Champion - Waco Raiders
Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2017, 09:39:59 am »
+2
@spart im still laughing at our goal  (xd) (xd)

Offline NAP

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2017, 01:17:44 pm »
+1
d2 rankings biased af lol, not sure how gatzbees can even be ahead of seal in power rankings when they are on a 4 game losing streak, also not sure how we dropped in rankings when we won out this past week but heh its >D2 anyways.

check out nba talk with nap featuring geoff and dj khaled

If you believe in Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior and are 100% proud of it, put this in your signature.
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Online Geoff

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2017, 02:17:47 pm »
0
me

Offline StaR

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2017, 04:01:15 pm »
+2
@GatZ Chamberlain .. Dang man.. we had that series in SSN8 for sure looking back on it. Happns :(

Offline Heimer

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2017, 04:26:27 pm »
0
> Team of the week I missed a fucking wide open net twice in OT vs Seals...Vote Carlitos MVPoty

Offline guid

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2017, 12:02:56 am »
+2
no mention of storm..... hello @GatZ Chamberlain

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

- Bob Marley

Offline Raptor

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #8 on: June 20, 2017, 12:51:34 am »
+1
Mmm they said its a race of four .... wonder which four are they..... mmm interesting mate (hmm)

Offline Luciano

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #9 on: June 20, 2017, 06:30:20 pm »
0
We didn't beat unicorns lmfao

Offline Heimer

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #10 on: June 20, 2017, 06:39:55 pm »
+2
Mmm they said its a race of four .... wonder which four are they..... mmm interesting mate (hmm)

Dinos, Pixies, Seals, and Beez...Obviously I mean you beat us and we beat everyone else so you're the best.

Offline Luciano

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2017, 07:56:47 pm »
-2
Mmm they said its a race of four .... wonder which four are they..... mmm interesting mate (hmm)

Dinos, Pixies, Seals, and Beez...Obviously I mean you beat us and we beat everyone else so you're the best.

raptor thinks he's gonna e4 this shit up and win as a huge underdog r0f

Offline Baines

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2017, 08:27:42 pm »
+1
Oh shit that me

Sunnyside Squirrels (GM)
Dynasty

Offline Heimer

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2017, 08:32:10 pm »
+1
Mmm they said its a race of four .... wonder which four are they..... mmm interesting mate (hmm)

Dinos, Pixies, Seals, and Beez...Obviously I mean you beat us and we beat everyone else so you're the best.

raptor thinks he's gonna e4 this shit up and win as a huge underdog r0f

At least he won't right click during a tie game with 5 seconds left to win a game to even get into the playoffs in the first place.

http://www.sphaxball.com/s25-division-2-match-reports/sacramento-storm-at-elite-four-season-25-week-8-day-1/

@Luciano Never forget why I think you're the biggest self-centered prick in this league, at least Jefe can back it up.

Offline Baines

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Re: SPHB Magazine - Fourth Edition
« Reply #14 on: June 20, 2017, 08:37:13 pm »
+1
Mmm they said its a race of four .... wonder which four are they..... mmm interesting mate (hmm)

Dinos, Pixies, Seals, and Beez...Obviously I mean you beat us and we beat everyone else so you're the best.

raptor thinks he's gonna e4 this shit up and win as a huge underdog r0f

At least he won't right click during a tie game with 5 seconds left to win a game to even get into the playoffs in the first place.

http://www.sphaxball.com/s25-division-2-match-reports/sacramento-storm-at-elite-four-season-25-week-8-day-1/

@Luciano Never forget why I think you're the biggest self-centered prick in this league, at least Jefe can back it up.




Sunnyside Squirrels (GM)
Dynasty